I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
operation have a gay friend backfired
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
