4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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