It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
