He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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