I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
