I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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