I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
