One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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