Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
