I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
