Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
