vagina is talking i cant
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
