Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I would fuck him just for his dog
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
