Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
