erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
