You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize