He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
