there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
