3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
tell me about the eggs
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
