i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
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