I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
