tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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