You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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