Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
