And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
