real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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