so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
