So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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