I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
