If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
PANTIES FOUND
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
