the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
