I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
