Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize