shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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