He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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