Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize