3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
