the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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