I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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