i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
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