Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
