Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
