Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?

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(925): View more from California

He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."

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(662): View more from Mississippi

He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.

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(315): View more from New York

Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt

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(705): View more from Ontario

Give me one good reason why I should go with you.

(416): View more from Toronto

Free beer.

(705): View more from Ontario

..pick me up at 8.

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