I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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