Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
