i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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