I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
