She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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