Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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