oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just found puke in my bra..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
