My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
