You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
