please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
