the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
