we're chasing vodka with high fives
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize