Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
