You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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