I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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