no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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