if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
