I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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