He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize