we're blogging at a bar
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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