Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
