You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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